Has written over 400 best-selling novels and audio-scripts, all claiming to be harrowing first-hand accounts of troubling times. He's, umm, a bit of a liar. Such tungsten-level bestsellers include WW5: How I Put A Stop To It, Kicking Massive Yarg Anger-Beasts In The Face (all three), 1000 Year Arm Wrestle: Illustrated, and My Vast Battle With Tentacle Cancer.

Rwej is currently lying hazily and horizontal on a beached whale with his on-again-off-again love interest, Squl Ashley Ms ., and his three lovely bank accounts.

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